Monday, December 16, 2013

Year One

When Mr. & I were engaged, people kept telling us to savor the moments we had as an engaged couple. That our first year of marriage would fly by and before we’d know it, we’d be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. I just smiled and nodded because I didn’t think the year could go by that fast. After all, the days leading up to our wedding seemed to drag on. But here I am, on our first wedding anniversary and I can’t believe how fast time has gone. Yesterday I stood up as a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding and I found myself crying at times, just going back and thinking about our day. How nervous and excited I was to see Mr. for our first look. How wonderful and light I felt as I walked down the aisle to, “I see the Light” from Tangled. To the overfilled feeling I felt in my heart & soul as Mr. recited his vows to me and me to him. As my cousin’s Dad gave his speech to the couple, I was reminded of my Dad’s sweet speech to us. And as I watched her & her husband dance together to their first song, I was immediately taken back to our first dance. The night was constant reminders of our wedding day just one year ago and I was so happy to have my husband by my side the entire time.
Our first year was far from easy. I tried going into marriage with as little expectations as possible, but it wasn’t easy. I figured getting married would solve all the problems we had as a dating couple. It definitely didn’t. We still fought, sometimes a lot. We still nit-picked each other, sometimes over the dumbest things. We disagreed over how to spend our time, money, and even where we’d tithe. But even through all the arguments, fights, and silent treatments, I remembered our vows to each other. That no matter what happened in our marriage that we would continue to fight for us and for the love we had for each other.

Nearly every person I talked to before we got married told me that the first year of marriage would be the hardest. I figured that would be the case, but I had no idea how hard our first year would end up being. We spent the first month of marriage with both of us unemployed. Granted the endless amount of time we had to spend together was amazing. But underneath it all was the constant fear of upcoming bills and payments to be made. Matt & I finally got full time jobs, and just as we got comfortable in our new roles as working folk, I left my job. I had faith that I would soon find a new one, but there were times when I kicked myself for leaving a job without one lined up. So for a month I remained mostly unemployed, only working part time at a retail store. I finally found a new job (which I love) and things started to fall into place again.

Well one month into my new job and 5 months into our marriage, Mr. got very sick. He remained ill for a few weeks with a fever and pains in his back & chest. We finally went to the doctor to see why he wasn’t getting better. At our physician we discovered that his heart was beating too fast, too fast even for her to measure. We were sent to the ER for more tests, and after an endless amount of blood draws & x-rays we finally found out that Mr. had a sack of fluid attached his heart and it immediately needed to be removed. So off to surgery he went. I don’t remember ever being as scared as I was in that moment. I was only 22 and married for 5 months and my husband had just been whisked away for heart surgery. Well long story short, he made it through surgery, we spent several days in the cardio ICU, and weeks (and more tests) later we were told that he had a virus that caused the fluid build-up. Despite all the madness he’s fine now and will have to see a cardiologist once a year for the rest of his life, but he’s recovered and that’s all I can ask for.

Well that would have been more than enough excitement for one year. But a couple months after Matt’s surgery we were in a serious car accident. We were out showing my parents a house we were interested and on our way back to my parent’s house a woman hit us nearly head on. She was on our phone and we couldn’t get out of her way in time. As soon as the air bags deployed, I blacked out for a moment. The next thing I remembered was running out of the car as fast as I could. I sat on the side of the road screaming in pain and yelling for anyone who could come to my aide. Thankfully my parents were driving behind us and could help Mr. call 911 and then help me. I ended up spending the day in the hospital with bruises covering my body, swollen fingers, cuts, and a banged up knee. My car was totaled and it took me a couple of months to totally heal up. But again, I am so glad that I am totally fine, Mr. was barely scratched and my car was replaced.

And of course y’all know about our house-hunting ordeal. It’s been ongoing and we’re finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

2013 was a wild year for us, and strangely I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Between Matt’s surgery, our accident, and our stints of unemployment, we have learned to be more grateful for what we have. We slow down and enjoy the quiet moments we have together. Year number one was crazy…here’s hoping year number 2 is a little less on the wild side!

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